How To Roll With Women in BJJ

When men are rolling with women in BJJ, the dynamics inherently shift, and sometimes things get weird or uncomfortable. Understanding the nuances of training with the opposite gender and following certain guidelines are critical for keeping the jiu jitsu academy a great training environment where everyone feels comfortable and can grow.

Not too long ago, very few women trained in BJJ. While more women train now, it's still very much a male-dominated activity. This makes understanding how men roll with women in BJJ classes essential. While we would like to think the majority of the content in this post should be common sense, we are always hearing of new stories that have us saying "WTF".

Men Training with Women in BJJ

How can men be better training partners for women? It’s not about going easy. It’s about training respectfully with women. Focus on specific considerations around training and inclusivity at the academy. Start by considering your own actions. How do your female teammates perceive your training and interactions?

Check Your Ego at the Door

Men often have a size and strength advantage. Strength can overcome poor technique, especially against women. The goal of training shouldn't be about crushing the girl who's 70lbs less than you. It’s about growth and improvement with those who feel uncomfortable because of strength differences between themselves and a larger training partner.

In jiu jitsu, you will grow faster by working on your weaknesses. Skilled training partners help you identify these weaknesses. I am a 6'2" 220lb brown belt, some of my best rolls are ones against the higher belt females in our gym - most of them I outweigh by a good amount. I could easily control these rounds, taking advantage of really any position or submission I want to.

But is that getting me better? No. Is it getting my training partners better? No.

So seeing as this has no benefit to anyone besides my false ego, I chose to work on my weaknesses during these rounds. Allowing my partner to lead and take the better position, let them work, then work on what I need to from there - but it's always a give and take relationship.

Refine Your Technique

Training with smaller, less-experienced partners is valuable. Guys don’t often get this chance to feel uncomfortable while improving their jiu jitsu.

This lets you experiment and refine weaker areas. Don’t muscle through that guard pass. Instead, refine your techniques - experiment with angles and different technique chains.

Use your technique to work around skill, not force it. This practice translates to all weight classes.

Maintain Professionalism On and Off the Mats

Simply put, don't be a creep, try and keep the conversations on training. Physical closeness is unavoidable in BJJ, but respect boundaries. Simple things like being mindful of how you grab the lapel and where you grip their bjj gi pants can go a long way in showing respect.

A respectful training session builds camaraderie through proper training and behavior on the mats, not through casual relationships with other attendees.

Be mindful of your conduct off the mats. Just because you had a fun roll with someone, that doesn't mean they want you sliding in their DM's 15 minutes after class thanking them for the roll - would you do that with anyone else?

Conclusion

With more women joining BJJ, inclusivity is vital. Men rolling with women must prioritize mutual growth, from casual drilling to competition training. This goes beyond basic courtesy - It establishes a foundation for effective training for all, from white to black belt and all experience levels in between.

Promoting respectful etiquette fosters camaraderie and creates a supportive training environment for all students and a great class experience for all those in your BJJ academy. When men and women train together respectfully, BJJ becomes more than self-defense. It builds a stronger community grounded in mutual respect, reminding us why it's called the "gentle" art.